Bzzzzzzzzzz... They're Back
By Chris Petry
Anyone have ants? I never had ants. Not until a freako storm came rolling through last month and knocked out my power for three full days. It was day two when I noticed that the box of popsicles in my freezer had melted and, moving with the flow of gravity, found their way into the refrigerator below and then onto the wood floor below that. Then, as if a top-secret radio broadcast was sent out to the waiting antennae of sucrose-crazed Hymenoptera everywhere, the ants marched in through infinitesimal openings in my windows and doorways to encircle the Samsung with omens of doom. On day three I bought some of those little white plastic doohickeys intended to deliver poison to the queen via old fashioned drone delivery. Most of them are gone. Most. There’s always one or two clever, or hopelessly out of step with the hive, individuals that manage to elude the specter of death.
Anyway, it’s summer again. Which means we’ll be seeing a lot more bugs. A lot more. Fruit flies hovering over your apples, hornet’s nests dangling from swing sets… and you’ll want to do whatever you can to protect the safety and health of your family and pets. Especially if one of those insects imbibes an experimental growth hormone at a local lab and grows to the size of a minivan. I saw it in a movie once.
So just where do all these bugs come from anyway? Where are they all winter long? Well, some die and some hibernate. You see, insects are what’s known as ectotherms. Ectotherms are lifeforms unable to regulate their own body temperature. When temperatures fall below freezing, they will freeze from the inside out. Pretty gruesome stuff.
Many insects and arachnids complete their lifecycles by reproducing. They lay eggs that remain
in stasis until the weather breaks, at which time the progeny hatch and begin to annoy us at
picnics. Worse than that basket-thieving bear at Jellystone Park.
What are the health and safety hazards associated with bugs in your home? Well, let’s start
with structural risks. May I remind you of the existence of the not-so-humble termite? Termites
feast on decaying plant material and what is a load-bearing support beam but a giant plank of
decaying plant material? Termites are especially common if you live within reasonable
proximity of a body of water (river, lake, creek). Luckily, most termite species are not a
significant threat to homes but the few bad eggs are bad and they are increasing in prevalence
due to the effects of climate change.
Then there are the insects that ruin food and spread bacteria. We’re talking houseflies, fruit
flies, flour bugs and the like. There are multiple solutions on the market to combat them from
proactive to reactive. There are bug killing sprays, adhesive traps, old fashioned sugar traps,
and chemical compounds that can be sprayed for first line deterrence.
There are also the creepy crawlies that pose more immediate health hazards. Venomous spiders like the brown recluse and black widow (Don’t call them poisonous, poison is ingested not injected), the ever-worrisome Lyme-carrying tick, and the apian horde (bees, hornets, wasps). If you’re allergic to bee venom, you probably already have emergency epinephrin on hand. Finally, let’s not forget the ever-pesky mosquito!
Of course, it’s not a zero-sum game. Much like having a cat can limit the presence of rodents,
disregarding a harmless spider or two can cut down on flies. If you’re not chiroptophobic
(Possessing a fear of bats), installing a bat box on your property in accordance with DNR
regulations can do wonders where mosquitos, and really any flying bugs, are concerned. A single bat can eat up to 8,000 insects a night.
If your pantry items are in air proof containers, you have bug lights and employ insect repelling
candles, and have properly sealed windows and doors and still have issues with bugs in your
home, it’s time to contact a professional. Exterminators will be able to advise you on the most
up to date child and pet safe methods of eradication or displacement. Now, enjoy the sunshine and the pests that come with it.
